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Christmas SMS Collection
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There's nothing sadder in the world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
The only blind person at Christmas time is he who has not Christmas in his heart.
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
The one thing women do not want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Why is it that when snooty department stores put their Christmas decorations up just after the 4th of July it's 'elegant foresight,' but, when I leave Christmas lights up until April, my neighbors think I'm just tacky?
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
Even before Christmas has said Hello, it's saying 'Buy Buy'
One good thing about Christmas shopping it toughens you for the January sales.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
The day after Christmas is like the day after the senior prom. Everyone is asking, "What did you get?"
Oh, joy, Christmas Eve. By this time tomorrow millions of Americans, knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper, will utter these heartfelt words: "Is this all I got?"
You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And, I didn't.
Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out and then count those you received?
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
The TV news people keep saying that this could be the greatest Christmas we ever had.
I kind of thought the first one was.
Jingle the bells and play the music loud, for Santa Claus is coming to town! Merry Christmas!
May this Christmas end the present year on a cheerful note and make way for a fresh and bright new year. Here's wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
At the stroke of midnight on Christmas, if a fat man dressed in a red suit jumps through your window, grabs you and puts you in a sack, don't panic. I told Santa I wanted YOU for Christmas!
Christmas is a state of mind when you cherish peace and goodwill. The real spirit of Christmas is to have mercy, love and faith.
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