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Naughty SMS Collection
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See what a spelling mistake can do...
Santa went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife: Having a wonderful time, wish u were Her
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
Santa: Raat film vich ik chudail kade mere aggey, kade mere pichchey...
Jeeto: Kehri film si ?
Santa: Apne Shaadi di movie si !
Santa: I got old age pension by showing grey hair on my chest.
Jeeto: Pant ki zip khol ke dikha dete to Disability Allowance bhi mil jaata
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis k liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.
Veeru: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna.
Santa sitting with his dog in d theater. Saali naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket liya hai
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Aaj Tak" gets news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one Sardar left alive. The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows:
Correspondent: How did this happen?
Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves. The announcement was misleading. The train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up...
Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.
Banta: Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise hoya ki si?
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich.
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi.
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Banta: I've discovered the origin of the word Good-Bye
Santa: Oh, yeah? What's it? Banta: Many years ago, some husband said to his wife, 'I'm leaving u!' & the wife said: Good! Bye!
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khediye.
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoe paa ke hune aaya.
santa wrote the result of his reserch, "If frog losees all its leg it become DEAF"
santa (scientist) cut a frogs leg n said JUMP. frog jumped. he cuts another leg n say JUMP. .. it jumped. repets for 3ed leg. Now he cuts the fourth leg and say JUMP, frog coudnt jump.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE WON AND TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"
There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oye...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...
"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, we will lose and it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically." All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
Banta: Y do u take ur wife only to night clubs?
Santa: By the time she gets ready no other place is open
In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer tio mein kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW
One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race. "What the guys are doing" asked the sardar. " We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner. "Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed the Sardar
Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta.
Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..!
Santa apni gal friend ko I Luv kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.
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